If you put down your soy latte and take off your dark-rimmed, weak-prescription glasses for a minute, you’ll notice that there is nothing wrong with sitting back and taking in a cheesy action movie with more one-liners than a Tim Vine marathon. However, are they the worst? Absolutely not. Let’s face it neither of these movies is going to be the best thing you’ve ever seen. It seems when rednecks want to take over what perhaps is one of the most heavily guarded buildings in the world, all they need is to hide in the AV room for a while, come out with a couple of guns, shoot a fat security guard and boom, you’ve taken over the White House. The attack in White House Down is lacklustre at best.
There are bodies (oh my, how there are bodies) and, if I were Barack, I’d watch this and immediately make the White House gates 40 metres taller. They attack the White House with the precision and aggression of a thousand 14-year-old Korean boys playing Call Of Duty. The Koreans, god love ‘em, are a well-oiled machine. It’s like Air Force One but not in a plane. Olympus Has Fallen is like a whole season of 24 condensed down to 2 hours. They’re lovable fools and allow you to believe that with a little hard work and determination, you too could storm the White House.ĭo you like action? I mean non-stop, double-uzi, bullet-in-the-face, helicopter-slamming-into-a-building, throw-a-cat-into-a-ceiling-fan action? Me too.
I liked the Koreans, but I’ll give this round to the rednecks. The Koreans are better to watch, but the rednecks offer a few laughs, which is exactly what you need to break the ice in situations like this. White House Down gives us a domestic threat US rednecks slighted by the government for various reasons, taking directions from a few US traitors. Olympus Has Fallen gives us ultra-organised, super-aggressive North Koreans, taking directions from a few US traitors. Who’s worse, North Koreans or US Rednecks? It’s not a question I’ve asked myself before, but it’s certainly the question Hollywood is asking. Just cross the road dickhead, you’ll thank yourself later. Settling for Channing Tatum when you could have Gerard Butler is like settling for Red Rooster when you could have Oporto, but to do so you need to run across a busy road. But you can’t compare him to Gerard Butler. He actually plays the hero role quite well. Don’t get me wrong, Channing Tatum might be a great guy. On the other hand, those tasked with piecing White House Down together decided on none other than Channing Tatum. His resume speaks for itself – the raw brutality he displayed in 300, the quick wit and fast draw from RocknRolla, the unrivalled understanding of a woman’s desires from P.S. The people making Olympus Has Fallen didn’t and that was wise.
When it comes to selecting the right guy to singularly save the free world from total annihilation, look no further than Gerard Butler. Tina Turner once screamed, “We don’t need another hero”, but in this case, we at least need one hero or the President will be dead. It goes without saying you would take either of these guys over Abbott or Rudd any day of the week. While Foxx is funny, Eckhart is a badass. He too is strong, proud, loyal and unable to be corrupted. He is also fond of America and, in particular, former President and current skeleton, Abraham Lincoln. On the other hand, we have Jamie Foxx (black guy) playing President Sawyer, who is pretty much Obama with glasses. Aaron Eckhart (white guy) plays President Asher, the strong, honest, leader of the people. Is it about ancient Greece? Is it about someone dropping their digital camera? No and sort of.Īh, a difference. However, from the outset, there is at least a little ambiguity about the theme of Olympus Has Fallen. You know what you’re getting with White House Down. The words you’re looking for are “thank you”. Both films, fairly obviously, are about a bunch of baddies taking down the Presidential crib – but why see both? Aren’t they the exact same movie? I’ve taken time out of my busy schedule to watch both of these modern classics and put together a comparative study. White House Down and Olympus Has Fallen carry on the long held tradition of coming out with the exact same movie in the very same year (See Dante’s Peak/Volcano, Deep Impact/Armageddon, Antz/A Bug’s Life, Jurassic Park/Schindler’s List). Barack, if you’re reading this, stock up on UP&GOs, lock the door of the Oval Office and hide under the desk – the terrorists are coming and it’s going to be both mildly entertaining and high-grossing. If you happen to be the President of The United States, 2013 is not your year.